These last few months I have found myself in a place I would label “betwixt and between.” And, at times, it has left me playing at being victim even as I move deeper into the understanding of who I am and who I can become.
In indigenous wisdom circles, betwixt and between takes on particular meanings with respect to particular rites of passage such as vision quests. Not really of this world, and not really of the “other.” In the vision quest setting, and for boys, it is the in-between time between childhood and full adulthood, the place between the earlier woman’s world and the entry into warrior’s world.
Since last July, our office has been under the spectre of layoff and shutdown. We will be in operation only until March 31, 2013. Living this “reality” for months now, with its inherent uncertainty and not-knowing what the future might bring, is a unique experience. In fact it’s a gift. It has led to crushing periods of inactivity and moments of pure brilliance and insight.
It’s not always a pleasant feeling AND it is necessary for life and growth.
What seems to be growing in me right now is an understanding that my life is best lived and sourced on the knife’s edge — the tipping point. The power comes from the effective ability to be the “dance on the edge,” the moment in-between the not-boiling water and the boiling water, where all possibilities exist.